Joan Baez Dated Steve Jobs And It Ruined My Life
I really wish it didn't
I never should've learnt that Joan Baez dated Steve Jobs. I can't even remember who told me that Joan Baez dated Steve Jobs.
Joan Baez dated Steve Jobs. Joan Baez DATED Steve Jobs. Why? How does a Joan Baez and a Steve Jobs even meet?
How long did they date were they in touch when he died how did they change each other can we see their influences in each other's works?
I am on page 13 of Google fiending with the desire of a Mormon man on his wedding night.
Nothing is in English anymore.
Page 14 of Google and I know page 15 holds the answers. There is no page 15.
I am greedy. The bits of knowledge I have gleaned in pages 1 through 6 were not enough. Video clips and quotes. Journal entries and accounts of friends.
Not enough.
My stomach growls.
I am positive there is an American Masters episode on her. American Masters always has the answers. I fucking love American Masters. PBS could run over a child and I would still stand by their work.
I pull up PBS Passport with haste, being the steadfast loyal donor I am. I get cozy for the hearty 90 minutes to come, but it's not, on there? Season 23 has one episode: Louisa May Alcott. And listen, I love me a good Little Woman. But that much? To take away my Joan Baez? We're really pushing it. I quickly open YouTube and my favorite pirating website for it had to be on one of the two. It's not.
This is around when I normally give up, but not today. I could not bear the shame of losing against both Steve Jobs and this episode. I am hit with a stroke of genius and rifle through my library (God) given Hoopla and Kanopy subscriptions. A handful of episodes of American Masters but still no Joan Baez.
My shoulders hurt.
I'm on Reddit now. There's a data hoarder listing the episodes of American Masters they are looking for. Joan Baez is not on the list; it's out there. I rush back to my library and the normal catalog. Ella Fitzgerald, Billie Jean King, Dorothea Lange, Sydney Poitier. My heart is pounding, my hands sweating. Joan Baez.. Joan Fucking Baez.
I JUMP I cheer I'm running laps in my room tripping I'm breathless I'm lightheaded. I glance back. This is not the episode. It’s the soundtrack. to the episode. 784.4 BAE is the call number. Mouth dry, room spinning, I slump down. Laptop shut, staring at the fan. I crawl to my phone and text my friends.
They offer me ideas and encouragement, but I can't make sense of it through my blurry vision. Pathetic defeat overtakes me and puts an end to my sniffles. I look in a mirror and sober up: it is a TV episode.
I eat dinner.
I scroll aimlessly through r/datahoarders to remind myself there are people collecting this media, it will be safe. I come across the American Archive of Public Broadcasting. No luck here.
I message the person who implied they had the episode. They accept my message request but never reply.
I sleep.
There is no point to this story. There is no grand reveal of finding it. There is no moral about persistence and hope. Nor is it really about Joan Baez.
I may never find that episode, and I will never know the version of me that it would have shaped. How long will I continue to hunger for knowledge if it never gets satiated? I'm afraid I will give up. I'll give in.
They will erase data of queer people and we'll never find it. They will erase everything about HIV; the cure will never be found. They will erase us and we will not be around to be found. We will try and plead, but they will chisel away, stroke after stroke. Will we give up?
It is ironic to be clawing for information about such a social justice icon right now. I have convinced myself that if I can find her I can find anything.
But I haven't found her.
I am still looking for this episode and any information about Joan Baez and Steve Jobs, should anyone have it. I haven't given up just yet.
Thank you for reading. I wish I could offer hope, but sometimes I think facing the defeat is how we build hope.